Hungry.

What does it mean to be hungry? Does it mean we long for food, something sustantial to get us along, and through our day? Is it something that guides us, and makes who we are? What is a hunger for life? You may find it hilarious, and maybe a little amusing: but I have no idea. I don't know any of the answers to these questions. It's probably disheartening, isn't it?

I guess, all I can tell you is that hunger is something much more than food (although food is a very good addition to that list), hunger comes from a spark in life. A spark of creation, if you will, it allows us to live in a way that is more prosperous, more rewarding, fulfililng, and loving. Having hunger is what gives us drive to wake up each day, with a tingle of 'want' to get us through.

Where we begin and where we end, ultimately relies on hunger to take us "over the hills and through the woods," hunger is strength.

Hold strong to your hunger, for some days it may fade, but resides lonely within thee. Let it fly.

I've Decided

We live in world where we're a little selfish, yet we're all so selfless. Where the most obvious things are the most complicated, yet the the subtle things in life are easy to get. I don't know. Sometimes I forget that I'm only nineteen. It's really hard to remember. I just want to be fifty already! Retired, own a yacht, and live on the beach until I croak. Oh, the agony. How I wish I was there, but then again, I really don't. I like being ninteen. No matter how confusing, frustrating, and absolutely horrid it may be a times. I like it. You're not tied down to anything (except for school work), but even then you're not obligated.

Being Nineteen allows you to smoke (ew!), and  you're legally an adult. I think more than anything though. The spiritual journey you begin when you're nineteen is something that I never thought would happen. It's absolutely cleansing. It's as if my eyes have finally opened, and I am much wiser now. I have met God, and Oprah, and Celine, and everyone I could ever imagine myself meeting (in my head obviously), I have yet to rise up and meet myself.

It will come though. That day will come, whether it be sooner or later--I don't know--and if you asked me a year ago I would have "freaked out" and maybe even cried, but today. I don't care. When it comes, it comes, but for today I'm just going to..well...live.

:)


Listen to this...

Yes, yes, YESH!!!

So, Halloween has come and gone, and I think I've developed a new love for this holiday that I never had before. It really is a wonderful holiday. A day to recapture your youth, a day to kick off the wonderful holidays to come, and a day to just laugh. I think I'm going to like future Halloween's. Anyways, it was a great week. I worked most of it (of course), but not all is in vein. I ran into two of the hippest, raddest, most fun seniors (as in, Senior, grade in school) on the planet, shout out--ERIN AND ELLEN--you guys made my night.

We got to dress up for work, and I'll most definitely post pics. I was a one hundred dollar bill, and a tiger, and today I'm going to be a mustard bottle. I'm saddened at the fact that it's our last day to dress up, but most definitely happy at the fact that THANKSGIVING is next. I just love Thanksgiving so much. I love the food, and the environment, and just the overall meaning of what the holiday is. It is so fantastic. The day after however, not so fun, but that's okay, I'll hold my head up high, and smile!

Then, there's Christmas. Honestly, I look forward to Christmas just because I get to pull out holiday music. I'm already listening to my Celine Dion Christmas CD. I just love it. I just love Celine!

Anywho, with the holidays coming so do finals, and the end of the semester, work, gift shopping, and so many wonderous things. My wallet is already feeling the effects of it, but we've all just got to stay pooooosssssiiiitttttive, and again, smile, and laugh, and maybe occasionally cry...from smiling and laughing. Well, I'm in a really good mood today. I hope I can keep it up. I'm going to share TWO videos. One, from the wonderful Celine Dion, because I feel everyone should hear her holiday album, and the other is from Legally Blonde: The Musical. It's called--Positive. Tee hee. Enjoy. ;)

It's been a while

It's been a long while since I've been on here. I really want this to become a daily thing, and if not, at least a weekly thing. I've been sickly, and gross. I have not been having fun with this, but it's leaving me--which is good. I have missed singing so much. I can't sing, due to horrible congestion and dryness in my throat, but I'll get there and when I can sing again. The shower will be my venue. :) I have a new baby cousin. Her name is CHARLY. Tee hee. I haven't met her, yet. Again, due to sickness. :( But I can't wait, from what I hear, she's AHHH dorable. I have been learning a lot lately. I feel like I've been reborn. A sort of renaissance that has opened my eyes to who I truly want to be. I was really confused for the longest time, but I think I know now. Which is a huge relief. Even if I'm still unsure as I to what I want to be when I "grow-up", at least having some direction leads me to something. So...I believe, once again, it's time for things "I know for sure..."


Things I know...

1. God lives and he loves me, and you, and everyone.
2. Music has saved and will always save me from myself.
3. My family rocks.
4. My friends rock, too!
5. Oprah is super inspirational.
6. Laughter is the best medicine.
7. Faith is the best hope.
8. Smile.
9. Beauty is only defined by how we perceive it.
10. Being different than the "norm" isn't being different at all.


It's time for some Ingrid. Enjoi.

Well...That was interesting.

This week was the beginning of school, and my goodness. It was wonderful, but so stressful. I think I'm going to like it here. I have no idea what I'm going to study, and that's ok by me. I decided to drop my Music class, and enroll in my Theatre class. I'm not going to lie--best decision EVER!

 Today was my first day and I learned more in this first day than in the last two days of my Music class, and we actually did...stuff, and my professor is amazing. He has so much energy and he really loves the craft. I think I'm going to like it--hopefully. He really reminded me of how much I love theater, and he actually reminds me a lot of Mr. Anderson. *tee hee.

I'm really weighing whether I should become a Theatre major. I either want to declare that or Communications. Still not sure. Hoping I can figure out. Then again, I may find something else that is interesting and go with that.

Today was a good day. :) A really good day. A really grateful day.


I think I should post A You Tube Video...This is the song we listened

in Theater. It seemed to fit then, and it still seems to fit now. Here we go...

Dear Oprah

Dear Oprah,

You are wonderful. You make me feel as if I can do anything. You are so thrilling to me. Your story and your life has become my muse and filled me with purpose. The fact that you are where you are inspires me to just live my life, and that even I; I who am a nobody can become somebody magnificent. Oprah, I will admit that I was a little hurt when I discovered you would be leaving me, forever, but I have come to terms with this, and I am genuinely happy for you. I think I realize now why you are doing this. It is time for change. I have learned this lately, moving from recent adolescent studies to the more sophisticated world of college. In a weird way it's sort of thrilling all this..."change." Perhaps, you enjoy the thrill. Yet, also I realize that now I was just ready for change, and perhaps that is your case also. Either way Oprah, know that you have changed my life, and I think and will never forget you for it. You rock!

Love Always,

Nathan Rust.

Dani S.

Dear Dani Staples,

I Love You! Ever since I discovered your love for Lady Gaga; I have developed a new found love for you. You are my soul sista, my honey bunches, my BOOM chaka laka. Dani, you are such a good person, and such a great friend, and although I don't know you well, I know you and I were meant to be. You have given me such laughter and happiness. Among other things I know you are a good person with a wonderful heart, and a beautiful spirit. Thank you Dani for entering into my life. You rock my socks!

Sincerely (your Beyonce lover friend),

Nathan

Which One?

Dearest Ex-Crush:

I just got over you last night when I finally came to my senses. You are a beautiful human being. You are funny. You are kind. You are most definitely eccentric, and I would love to be with you, but the world calls me for bigger things. Things you'd rather not be a part of, and that's fine, but don't hold me back. I love you, so much, but now I can't say that, because just admitting that means that there is still something there. I hope your life brings you happiness. I hope you find everything you've been searching for, and if not, I hope you hear me in the back of your head saying, "I told you so." Fare thee well my ex obsession, actually no. This is good-bye. Forever. Thank you. Thank you for letting me be me with you, and showing me that sometimes a crush; is just a crush. <3

No longer yours,

Nathan

We are all created Equal.

Dear Stranger,

You seemed to me to be ugly, grotesque, shallow, and cold. To me you were nothing, and for that I am truly sorry. I remember when I first met you at the stop light at the end of the road. My mother gathered her purse and poured change into my hand. She rolled down the window as I became frightened to make contact with you. Yet, you did not shudder at my ignorance. Instead you embraced me, as an equal and the least I could have done was the same. You told me, "God should bless me," for the change my mama gave to you, but the truth is stranger; God shall bless you, because you have already blessed me. I met you again, when you begged for more change. This time your Angel was my guardian. A woman who is so much better than I. A woman who offered you food from her own plate. Your grace, and your gratitude radiated from your eyes. I wept. I have changed. Now, we are friends. Dear, stranger, I hope I meet you soon, and this time I will save you. On my own. Alone. Proud and unmoved. I will save you, because you have saved me. We are equal in every way. May God bless you as you have blessed me.

With Love,

Nathan.

Day Dreams. Real Dreams. All Around Me. Dreams.

Dear Dreams,

All I ever wanted for you was that you would become true. That all those miniscule thoughts I created in my head would become real, extravagent, tangible auras of life. Although you did not come true. What I got instead was twenty times better. But I must thank you, because although you did not become reality, you still kept me going. You make me the person I am today. Ever since I imagined being President, to now, I have no idea who or what I want to be, but that's ok, because you have given me options. You have shown me that dreaming is only the beginning. Dreams, I hope you weren't planning on going anywhere, because I have big plans for us, and have decided that I'm going to be keeping you around for a great while. The best dream you've given me? Well, the one where I'm rich and famous, and sing for thousands upon thousands at Madison Square Garden. Although it hasn't come true yet, my fingers are still crossed. Another one was one with Ryan Seacrest coming to my beckon in Elementary School (bahhahaha good times). Then, of course there are the ones where I fall in love with some pretty fantastic people. :) Thank you dreams, for inspiring me to continue to smile. See you soon.

Love always,

Nathan

May I skip this one?

Hmph! My siblings? Well, my siblings are, well, crazy??!! But I still like 'em to an extent. Oh! Wait this is suppose to be a letter. Hold up, homies. Let me start again. ;)


Dear Sibling(s):

You are quite obnoxious, nosy, close-minded, yet you make me laugh. You make me smile, and you remind me each and every day that we are family. You worry me; in more ways than one. When you run off in the middle of the day and I have no idea where you are. When you leave for an extended period of time and I have no idea what you're doing. I guess, you could say I'm lost without you. Although I do have to say when you do leave, it's nice to have some time alone. I guess really what I want to say is thank you. Thank you for never leaving me drown as an only child, yet thank you for that envy, also.

That is all,

Nathan

I hate sounding like my Mom..?

Dear Parentals,

You are very near and dear to my heart. I will admit. You are quite an annoyance sometimes, but I love ya anyways. Why? Well, you are good people. Truly, good people who care about not only the well-being of your children but others as well, sometimes even strangers. You are happy, I think, and you have taught me happiness. You have let me find myself. Granted, you were a little naggy along the way, but still I have become a better: man, son, colleague, citizen, friend, sister, brother, confidant, stranger, and everything else a person could be. Thank you for letting me laugh. :) Thank you for letting me love. Thank you for always giving even when I wasn't willing to give back. All in all, I am blessed by your presence in my life and I can never express in a tiny letter how much you mean to me. Thank mom and dad, for just being well...the best!

Love always,

Nathan

P.S. Remember this next time we're fighting. lol

Day 2: To: My secret paramoure; who doesn't know it, yet. :)

Dear Secret Crush,

I don't know how I feel about you anymore. One minute I'm in love. The next minute I'm not. It's as simple as that. I want us to work, but at the same time I feel I need to grow up, first. But I can't resist the way you make me feel. The way you make me smile, when I'm sad. The way you make me crazy, when I'm mad. There are things about you I love. Then again, there are things about you I don't love so much, but that's how I know this works. That is love, my friend, that is love. You're also ridiculously sexy, that I swoon when someone mentions your name. Most of all though, I love the way you make me laugh. It just makes my day! See you soon secret lover. See you soon!

Love always,

Nathan.

I don't consider it stealing. It's more like...borrowing.

30 days 30 letters. you get the picture. <<< Thanks Ellen for this simple, yet confident intro. P.S. Thanks to all my senior buddies who began doing this, and sparked my interest. I hope I may return the favor, and you can steal any of my non-existent ideas. ;)

Dear Best Friend,

You are more than my friend; you are my sibling, you are my better half. You show me light, and love, and bless me with wisdom each and everyday. Without you my family would be my only confidant. Oh dear, just the thought makes me shiver in my boots. Your non-judgmental attitude and your willingness to smile with me, makes you all the more my bestest bud. Bestest friend, there are things I can never re-pay you for. Such as, teaching me to love myself for who I am. Giving me confidence to go where I never dared to go. Showing me that I have a love for my family I never realized and so much more. Bestest friend you are the Winnie to my Pooh, the Macaroni to my cheese, but most of all you are the Bestest to my Bestie.
Love now and forever,

Nathan

Day 1: Your best friend.
Day 2: Someone you secretly think is cute.
Day 3: Your parents.
Day 4: A sibling.
Day 5: Your dreams.
Day 6: A stranger.
Day 7: Your ex-love/crush
Day 8: Your favorite internet friend.
Day 9: Someone you wish you could meet.
Day 10: Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to.
Day 11: Someone who died.
Day 12: The person who has caused you the most pain in your life.
Day 13: Someone you wish would forgive you.
Day 14: Someone you have drifted away from.
Day 15: The person you miss the most.
Day 16: Someone that doesn’t live in your state/country.
Day 17: Someone from your childhood.
Day 18: The person that you wish you could be.
Day 19: Someone that pesters your mind (good or bad.)
Day 20: The person that broke your heart the hardest.
Day 21: Someone you judged by first impression.
Day 22: Someone you want to give a second chance to.
Day 23: Someone who makes you laugh really hard.
Day 24: The person that gave you your favorite memory.
Day 25: A person you know is going through hard times.
Day 26: The last person you made a pinky promise to.
Day 27: The friendliest person you only knew for a day.
Day 28: Someone that changed your life.
Day 29: The person that you want to tell everything to.
Day 30: Your reflection in the mirror.

I can't believe it.

So, I pretty much started school yesterday. I went to orientation.

Oh my lanta...it started off really dull and boring, (and honestly I

just wanted to vomit and leave.) BUT I am so glad I stayed. The

day was so informative and I registered for classes, which was

really exciting. Probably my favorite part of the whole day. It was

also fantastic to get to know the campus. Meet people, and really

appreciate the city for what it's worth. I lived in Salt Lake City for

half of my childhood and I never could swallow how wonderful the

city was until yesterday. The architecture, the enviornment, the people;

it's so alive and beautiful. I love it! Plus! I got into some really great classes

and have just enough courses (electives and general ed) to get me through

the semester. I think that this is what I love most about college thus far:

the ability to change your mind and no one has the right to reprimand you.

It is up to you. It is your time, your money, you life. So waste it if you must.

Utilize it, if you can, and love every minute of it. I can't wait to see what

next semester has in store. ;)

Change.

It amazes me how much life can change in just a matter

of seconds. I mean really. Who came up with this idea/

actuality of life just changing right before your eyes. Now,

I'm not saying I don't like it exactly. It's just so sudden.

I need some forewarning. An air signal, smoke signal,

a piano dropping from the sky would be sufficient.

Anything really. All I know is that a few moments ago

I was going to SUU, and now I'm going to the University

of Utah. CARAZY!!! Which means, yes, I will be staying

which definitely makes me smile. I wonder if there's a song

that can illustrate how I feel about this sudden change...

Let me check...

This doesn't really paint a picture of this exact moment, but

it will give you an idea as to my spiritual journey...




They really should make a stage musical of this movie.

The Orchestrations are beautiful I kind of want to cry...

This song definitey illustrates my love for God, and

how grateful I am to him for blessing me each and every

day. Giving me everything I always hoped for and nothing

I've ever wanted.

Thank you.

Well I now that I've brought up God I think I'll leave you

with this wonderful quote I found, that I love!

“I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak
that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might
do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
 I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I
 might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
 I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for
 all thingsthat I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all
things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am,
among all men, most richly blessed.”

Ciao.

On My Way

 This is the AMAZING Sutton Foster performing, "On My Way"

from the musical, "Violet." It basically sums up how I feel right 

now. Enjoi!

The Gods Love...Nubia?

I think the most amazing aspect of life is that we have been 

blessed with amazing minds and spirits, and although they 

may fail us, or rather, we fail ourselves. There is still time 

for improvement. Through love and peserverence we can 

accomplish what seems to be the most impossible.

God loves me, and he loves you too. 

With that said I put this as my Facebook status recently:

"Excuse me sir; you can call me names, and give me dirty looks.

You can spread your rumors: your lies, but trust me, it won't hurt. 

You can use words that smell of hate, and believe you can curse, 

but sir understand this. I am me, and that excels any horrid bologna dispersed from

the jaw of your mouth. Thank you. Good bye. For-ever."

Honestly, I had no idea where this came from. I wrote in response to a fellow 

co-worker who blamed me for his mistake. The response I got to this post 

though is what made me realize that it was much more than just my way of 

"venting," but it was a statement. A true statement, and it makes me so proud 

of my friends who support equality and acceptance. The truth is: we are different

and that is what makes us beautiful. 

 

So, this is to my friends (and some strangers) whom I love, a respect, more now

 than ever. Thank you for your undying acceptance (in all my flaws and differences).

This is also to to the world: love is love, trials are trials, mistakes are mistakes; and 

we all possess these three unpredictable mishaps.  So, whether we are common, 

or whether we are crazy is up to you to decide. All I know for certain is that 

to me they are the same. :) 

Ciao!

 

A Bucket List (sort of)

So I've decided to publish my Bucket List. I know, I know,

it may seem conceited. I mean, why would anyone care about 

anything I want to do before I buried six feet under, but it's not 

because I want to publish it to the world to show-off. I'm doing 

it to create some sort of an obligation for myself to get it done, and

if it's published my mind says, "oh snap, everyone knows, I better 

do it!" *crazy scared face* So here it is. Exactly as I wrote it the last 

day of English class. There are ten of them. ONLY TEN, I need to 

get them done, and if I don't. I'll survive, but it'd still be cool to say 

I got them done. Woot! Woot! 

Anyways to begin:

My Bucket List

By: Nathan Rust

• Learn to Fly a Plane:
•  I wanted to jump out of an airplane, but the more I thought about it, the more I found it to be stupid. So I found a happy medium.
• See Lady Gaga Live:
• 'nuff said.
• Tour Italy and France (and maybe some other countries on that side of the world) oh, and Greece:
• I have always been found of Italy, but France has now sparked my interest. I don't remember why. It just does. I'd also like to add Bali. :) 
• Write a memoir:
• This most likely won't happen, but I can dream. Right? Right? 
• Appear on Saturday Night Live:
• I'm not funny, but it would be interesting. 
• Get Married:
• If I find the right person, and find myself in an appropriate situation.
• Study Abroad in Jerusalem:
• I think it would be fascinating. 
• Go to India with Gabby. 
•  Just discovered this one. Just as I'm writing this actually. 
• Meet Oprah Winfrey:
• She's black, she's rich, and she touches my heart.
• Perform on Broadway:
•  Even for just a night will do. I'm easy. I would stay for an extended amount of time too. Who knows?

Well, there they are. This was fun. Everyone should make one, even just for fun. Well here it goes, off into the world wide web. Enjoi. 
 

This is just great... She needs to be on Glee!

Nuff said. 

Technilogically Challenged

So, I received a new laptop for graduation (gracias Grandma and Grandpa <3). 

But it is the most complicated thing of my life. Seriously. Computers

and phones and iPod's need to learn to speak to their owners. 

It would make the hassle of learning how to use them, much

easier. There are some moments I just want to throw them 

against the wall, because I would be better off. Then I figure 

out ONE new thing I can do, and these (material) matters

are wonderful again, and I can't live without them. I guess

you could say we have a love hate relationship. 

*sighs*

welll here is some more Gavin Creel...just to make us all feel better. 

 I could die listening to him. :) 

P.S. These young men that are leaving on missions. 

I truly am SO happy for you and know you will 

do well in the field, but did you all have to leave 

at the same exact time. I can't be five places at 

once on the Sabbath. 

Anywho...

Ciao.
 

I woke up

Today. Has just been wonderful. I woke to find a wonderful

comment on Facebook from one of my bestest friends *coughRoselinacough*

oh, how it made me smile, plus Tyler W. added to that. I just love

people on this planet Earth. I also listened to some Gavin Creel

which I mean, come on, how could that not make your day wonder-

ful. Then, I went to grandma's--did a little cleaning. Got excited

because I'm going clothes shopping, for a bargain (I LOVE BARGAINS)!

Anywho it has been a very successful day. Even with this crazy

weather. Although it has caused a beautiful sunset. Here's a picture

just to make you think.

It's more symbolic than anything (I am like a tree, ever growing, ever living, ever alive)! 


Ciao!!!!

Finally

The sense of freedom, or rather,

liberation--I feel from Graduation is

so satisfying. I can't even believe it. 

Also kids, I DIDN'T CRY! Thank goodness,

that would've been embarrassing. I finally figured 

that this truly wasn't the end--only the beginning. My

life is free, I am free. What I was most afraid of was 

losing all my besties, but my besties will always be my

besties, no matter where we go; far and wide we'll still

be together at heart. I am elated now, and I'm going to 

ride it and make it last. I feel really good. The world is 

at my feet. I feel...unlimited. 

Here's Fergie explaining it in a more gracious, rhythmic sort of way: 

One Day More

Tomorrow is Graduation. I really can't even fathom 

that it is here. I don't know what to do with myself.

At the same time I'm really, REALLY excited!

I don't think I'll cry...or at least I'm hoping I 

don't cry. Every time I look around me all I 

see is that it is the last of anything I'll do in 

High School; my last first period, my last

dance, choir concert, my last lunch time with

friends in "Valhalla," my last everything. We 

we're discussing this at Denny's last night (at

one in the morning, mind you). It's so silly, yet

so serious. The support from everyone has been

overwhelming. Those who just want to say "congrats," 

I thank you, truly and deeply, thank you. 

I look back on my path of life and I chuckle a little

but I am happy. Then, I look forward, and I smile at

the unknown. 

Here is One Day More from Les Mis; yup this pretty much

sums it up...

Writing A Memoir

You might think this is a joke BUT

you're wrong. I'm going to do it.

So, cliff notes version, we have this

"Bucket List" due in English. I just put

down I wanted to write a memoir. But

I really didn't think I would. I just couldn't

think of anything else to write, that I wanted

to do. So, here I am. Ready to write 

a memoir of my life thus far. Who knows

how it will go, but I think I need to do this. 

I want to call it "Me, My-self and...God." 

I want to write about how I'm going to

make myself, or rather, re invent myself. 

I want to write about life thus far, and life

coming up. I don't want to hold anything

back I just to publish it all. Let it all 

out there. Give myself some closure, 

from both the ending of my High School

career, and from life itself. 

So here's to writing a memoir, and 

hopefully...finishing it. ;) 

Ciao!

This I don't know...but I'll try.

I'm excited. Yet...Frightened!

I can't do this, but I feel so ready. 

I don't know how to feel. 

I guess for now, I'm just going to indulge 

in every moment of it. 

I went to Prom...IT WAS FANTASTIC!

I went to San Francisco with my bestie...LOVED IT

Pictures to come (don't worry). ;) 

I went to my LAST choir concert...I CRIED a little. :') 

It was precious. 

Tonight I went to my Senior Banquet...SO FUN!

I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

I know that graduation is just around the corner, but 

I really don't want to come to terms with that, but I guess...

I must, but not now. Not tonight. 

All I know is I'm not going to cry. 

Nope, I refuse. Crying is not on my itinerary. 

Anywho below is some poetry to express my feelings 

about all this change.

OH, and this great video of an Acoustic version of

"Poker Face," but the won-der-ful Idina Menzel

and Lea Michele in Glee...give it a listen

...you know you want to. ;) 


 "Blissful nights. Silent love; my fear comes from up above.
Stolen memories, and naked thoughts. Come with me. 
Let's not get caught."




  

My Muse

This is why I love...love...LOVE

Kelly Clarkson!

She is an inspiration.

I need to hear her, again.

I might die if I don't.

I mean really, listen to this, and tell me

that one of the greatest voices has been

on hiatus for too, too long!


AHHHHHHHHH


I'm gong to sleep now!


Enjoy!

If You Lift Me Up

 I don't know why I'm still here.

I have no idea how I have even

made it this far.

Someone above must love me--

a whole bunch--

I love life!

Truly, I do.

I love it, I love it!

Sometimes I fall. Sometimes I fail.

Getting back up though it what keeps

me smiling.

Thanks to all.

For blessing me, and keeping me grounded.

Without your love, your support. 

I would be vaporized. 

I thank you for keeping me lifted.

(I only hope I can lift you in return.) 

Hannah, you make me smile.

So, I don't do this. Ever! Although I don't think

it counts because I've only been blogging for like

two months now, but either way.

I'm posting another blog today.

Why? You might ask...well


Hannah Wing--only like the most amazing woman

put on the planet--inspired me to dedicate this blog

to her. So here goes it.

I love Hannah. She makes me smile like no one else

can. I mean really. She is a hoot and two-thirds.

Just thinking about her makes me cry, from laughing.

She's this beautiful red-head, with wonderful freckles

to decorate her magnificent face, and her style; is only

one of a kind. She has a heart made of platinum, and she

makes me want to go learn to fly a plane--it's been a life

long dream of mine for quite some time--that's how much

she inspires me! I love you Hannah Grace Wing. Now

and always.

Hmmm...I think I'll do this more often...(:

Prom, San Francisco, and Graduation...oh my!

So this week is going to be rough.

I have one AP test, math, and Prom all to

take care of! Oh, plus work! This year/ month

is going to be the fastest month of my life.

I can't believe it. This time a month from now,

I will be walking across a stage, saying Good-bye.

*tear*

Prom is going to rock!

San Francisco is going to be great.

Especially after those AP tests.

Then, it's my last choir concert.

Ah, so bittersweet.

Anyways...


COLLEGE...HERE I COME!

Ramin Karimloo!!!!

Goodness I love this  beautimous voice like no other

(obviously Celine and Gavin not included) I just love this.

Ramin Karimloo is playing the new Phantom in Love Never Dies--

the sequel to Phantom of the Opera. His 

voice can make anyone melt. Just take a listen...

No Possible Way

I had an interesting discussion with a very good friend. This discussion about God.

It made me think about why I believe in a God.

There are actually several reasons.

I guess I sum it up like this:

I don't think I would be where I am if there wasn't a God.

I would not be able to overcome my trials.

Stay optimistic.

Smile.

I would fall apart.

That is why I believe there is a God.

I have been saved from myself. 

Basically...

Life is crazy!
Good, but crazy.
I'm going to the dance concert tonight.
I CAN'T WAIT!
Anywho today I realized, as much as
I didn't think it was going to happen.

I'm going to miss choir.
Sadness.

Sad Day.
But like they all say....





The Show Must Go ON.

Just Around The Riverbend

Today is rainy. Today is dreary, and today Avatar comes out
and I should be wearing blue. Any who I am here and I am now.
I'm actually getting really excited for college.
Yet am Melancholy at the thought of leaving High School.
I might--just might--miss the crazy-ness of this parallel universe.

Either way it is Just Around The Riverbend I have so much to do before
the end of the year.

It's all fun and what not. It's just coming so, so, FAST!

-Prom
-Senior Banquet
-Senior All-Night Party
-One Act
-LAST choir concert
-Work
-College Prep.
-And Much More.

This is Redonculous. Ahhhhhhhhhh

Up To The Mountain

Yesterday afternoon, we lost one of the greatest,

strongest, souls to be on this planet we call 'Earth.'

He was kind, benevolent, loving, smart, happy, and

so many things that I wish I could be. He lost his

battle to Brain Cancer. As I reflect on what has happened

I am sad, yet peaceful. I only pray for his mother.

Oh, what it would be lose your son. I can't even imagine,

but I tried. So, I wrote this. I could never justify her pain,

but I do want to empathize with her.

Nothing is as endless as a mother's love, and the look on her

face. Was destruction. The destruction of herself. She fell

apart. We all know he is in a better place, and we will meet

him again, but till then he must rush Up To The Mountain,

and save our spots, because we Love Him So. So very much.


"Pain fills my sternum to the point of exasperation; tears fill my ducts,
till I no longer can cry. I stare. I scream. He is gone: now he can fly.
I love him; I loved him. I'll love him till the day I go. Now, I must stand."

ROlleR CoaSTeR!

Today...was...Crazy.

It was...

Good...

Then...Bad.

Then...Good

Then...Bad

Overall...it was okay.

It was just...okay *shrugs shoulders*

Can't really sum it up any other way.

Great English class...then I remembered...work.

Seminary. Snooze. I'm sorry. I couldn't feel it.

Choir + Lunch= funn with besties!

Theater = GREAT...Until I couldn't find my lines.

Now I'm frustrated.

Work is...work. Can't really justify it.

Yeah. It was a roller coaster ride today.
CaRaZy

Poetry. Out let.

Vulnerable-abilty

Never seen your face—but I hear your voice.

Never felt your kiss—but I felt your heart.

Never was the best—but still you gave me love.

I fell—far.

You still watched me—cry.

Out of pity; out of pain, shame, compassion.

Now I see—me.

Thank you—thank you—

Dear God,

thank you—for loving me, for me.