I think...

WAY too much!

If Thinking was an Olympic sport I would definitely take home the Gold...

maybe.

I like thinking. I do. 

Sometimes, though.

It can be TORTURE!

I'm really ready for the semester to be over.

I really want at least a new position at work

or

a new job.

I also need to move out.

I've been getting a lot of  "Why do you want to move-out," faces, or "Are you and your parents fighting?" 

The Truth:

Nope. My parents and I are doing just fine. We're actually better than fine. I mean, there are good days and bad days, but they're not the reason I want to move out. I strictly want to move out because I want to take more credit hours at school, and need more access to campus to do so. That's it. I just want to further my scholastic career. NBD.

I have no idea where to start though? Do I move in with strangers? Do I move in with friends? Where do I move? Where is safe? Etc.

SO MANY QUESTIONS.

 Humph.

Who knows...

I'll think about it.

P.S. I think I have a crush. 

P.P.S. I love Ingrid Michaelson.

Thanks for Giving

What does Thanksgiving even mean?

Wasn't it when Pilgrims fled from England to escape religious intolerance?

Where does Thanks come into play?

I guess part of me wants to know, and I'm pretty sure I can Google it,

then again

Maybe I don't don't want to know.

This Thanksgiving has been hectic and crazy and frantic (and any other synonyms you can think of).

I like it though...I don't want to go back to school. It's going to get crazy and then...

Dun
    Dun
        Dun

CHRISTMAS!!!

Then we start again. I'm not sure how I feel about this Thanksgiving...
we'll have to see once everyone arrives.

Ugh.

When I grow up...

I've decided when I grow up...I want to be Betty Lou.

Who's Betty Lou?

Oh only the most fabulous, wonderful, courageous, beautiful, funny, compassionate, kind, and MANY, many more things that I can't even list it will take this whole website.

I just adore her.

She's the kind of woman you can't help but love.
She's so witty
She's so kind.
And she's got the knees of a forty year old.

Everyone has to meet her

and

if you don't...that's your loss.

When I live my life now...I tap into three (3) people:

My inner Beyonce
My inner Adele
and my inner Kelly Clarkson.

When I grow up...

I'm definitely tapping into my inner Betty Lou. Which means I'm going to live until I'm 120...

Betches!

The job I didn't get

So...I applied to be an "Orientation Leader" at the University this semester.

I didn't get it. :(

I wasn't devastated I didn't get it though.

I'm not sure if that means I really didn't want it, or I've learned how to deal with rejection...

really well.

Hmph!


Perhaps I figured I wasn't going to get it, after the second interview. I think that I got along with the ladies just fine, and the interview went well, but I think the interviewer felt it was going to be difficult for me to juggle SMP as well as being an Orientation leader.

Which I definitely understand.
From an employer's standpoint.

I even started to second-guess myself, and that's when I realized "meh, whatever happens, I'm happy."

So...this summer is dedicated to hanging out with my homies on a regular basis.
Going to the Drive-in.
Throwing dinner parties.
Going to Washington.
Attending lots of Free and expensive events such as:

Concerts
Musicals
Art Galleries
and
Movies.

This summer is dedicated to fun. No School. No Homework. No ambitious remedies to "fix my life".

It's just about me, and my pals and working.

I CAN'T WAIT!

Back to the Grind.

I wrote this with one person in mind, and I actually wrote it in two parts.


It was suppose to be sort of a progressive story, but it became difficult trying to make the two parts fit, cohesively. 


I'm not sure it's even done, but I'm sure it's ready to be read: 


Sypnosis: This is a story about a man I loved. A man I wanted to love. A man who, really, was just an idea. These are all the things I never said, all the things I should have said, and all the things I didn't want to say, but finally had to--in order to move on.

To you 

There was a man, I loved--

once.

A man who told me

life was a dream.

We smiled.

We laughed.

We fought--

endlessly.

It was hypocrisy 

when I left him.

I had to stumble 

right back.

I thought I belonged.

The more I saw--

the more I wanted him

 gone.

So I wept

and I yelled

and I got angry.

Nothing.

There was a man--

I loved 

once.

He left me,

for a man he loved

more.

I'm still standing.

Smiling...

Melancholy.

As the 

Thunder,

and lighting.

Strike.

I wait as the onyx

night sky,

becomes the sun

peaking o'er the morning 

hills.

Milliseconds.

Seconds.

Minutes--pass

and I wait

(wait)

as life goes by.

It ends

I awake,

and I'm alive.

and to you--

all I can say/is

(Goodbye.)

There was a man

I loved--

once.

Kelly Clarkson...I hate her!

I really don't.

Actually, I adore Kelly Clarkson. That's just shout out to Wendy Kimble.

I've been listening to her new album STRONGER...on REPEAT. It plays constantly:

While I'm sitting.
While I'm standing.
While I'm showering.
While I'm sleeping...

ALL. THE. TIME.


I love this album SO much.


One of the best songs off the album is a song called What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger).


Which takes the old adage in a rock-esque perspective. I can't help my rock out when I listen to this song.
It's quite liberating.

So...I thought I would share it with everyone.

ROCK ON!

Yes...another one.

I absolutely ADORE this:



I love it because--

1.) It's completely true.
2.) Maya Angelou said it (She is sowise).
3.) Because not only does it apply to how we see other people, but it also applies to how people see us.

I think that, yes, it is about learning that what people show me/I is the truth, but it also means that we/us consciously have to continue being people that we want others to accept the first time, and not learn the 29th time they don't want to be around us.

Lovely. 

Become Better...

It's interesting the way things come into our lives RIGHT when we need them...

I was watching Oprah the other day...I adore Oprah.

It was her Life Class.

She was talking about Anger. 


Coincidentally I had been dealing with anger at this time.

I always thought Anger (Grrr) was just an emotion everyone had to deal with. Including me, and I had been angry before, and I dealt with it.

This time though. I was furious. FUMING. I was so angry, and I saw that this angry only fueled other "Anger's" in my life, even more.

I'm not really an angry person.

This day... I was.

So, I sat down watched Oprah, and this it what she said to me:




:) I love that..."Not only was she laughing, but she's shopping at Tiffany's"

This has become one of the greatest lessons I think I'll ever learn, and has become one of my daily Mantra's...

Don't become bitter; become better.



So, we must all feel anger. We are human, but we must also allow anger to pass over us like the onyx night sky, and search for the sunlight that peaks over the six o' clock hills. Anger is normal. It is when we allow anger to settle within us it develops into bitterness and resentment, and that is where sadness lives.

This Time

I guess life is suppose to be complicated sometimes.

At least. It should be. If it isn't, why are we here?

I was on Facebook. When a friend posed this question...

What are emotions? 


My Response?

...

That's where I feel something. Then you feel something. Then we feel something together. "Your 


Perfect. Your perfect. So, we're perfect together." Sort of thing. Synergy. Etc.


Yeah. That's a reference to Wicked: The Musical. 


Anyways the point?


Emotions...at least to a point are within us, not to understand and not to complicate, but they are there to connect us. With emotions we relate to one another. It is why we have one another. To love. To hate. To envy. To enjoy. Emotions create synergy. 


I love that. 


S Y N E R G Y. What a beautiful concept. The idea that the whole  is greater than the sum of it's parts. 


Just  an idea. :)