It seems strange. I mean, a "Facebook Fast"--it's almost laughable. Wait, who am I kidding? It's completely laughable. I guess you could say I've finally woken-up to the fact that Facebook controls my life.
I have a lot to discover. I keep thinking that today I want to be 35, and I have to look at myself in the mirror and give a friendly reminder: "YO stupidhead you're ONLY TWENTY!" So, I keep thinking about if I'm only twenty; what am I suppose to have done? What am I supposed to have accomplished in two decades of my life, because I feel I've done nothing, and I feel as if I'm in this black hole of just: questions.
Questions that are everywhere. I wouldn't say I'm lost, but I'm definitely not found. I have learned so much, but I feel there is so much learning that needs to go on.
The way I describe it to people is "When I'm 80 years old and sitting on my porch. I don't want to be the Grandpa that reflects on his life and thinks--wow I didn't do anything worth while when I was twenty."
I definitely expect regrets. I definitely expect failures, and that's okay. I'm already waiting for the complications, and that excites me the most. I feel like if it's not complicated, there's nothing to learn from it.
Anyways, beyond the Facebook fast comes a lot of baggage. Baggage I'm not sure I'm ready to reveal on a public domain--just yet, but in time--once I've even learned what it means...everyone else will know too.
For now I'm taking two weeks to do things I've never done before. I'm taking two weeks to learn more about what I can accomplish, when I'm not trapped behind the computer. I'm going to redecorate my room, finish my mid-term papers, party it up, text, watch television and movies (maybe even some Lifetime, you know, for a good 'ugly cry'), and after two weeks we'll see what happens. I have no expectations for this. I just need to revamp, that's all.
