Day 6

What's the hardest thing you've experienced?


Ummm...2006?

Can I choose a whole year? Because it sucked, but it's a good kind of suck-age, at least, now I know it's a good kind. Back then I was total mess, and fell apart.

1. I fell in and out of love with my first "boy-friend"...it's a really complicated story, but "cliff notes" version is: I met this boy, he told me he liked me, I believed him, then he told me he "loved" me, I told him I "loved" him back, then he never spoke to me again. It was awesome. Actually, not so much. I remember one near day after the "incident", I crawled under my bed, and cried, for like an hour...no biggie. Oh gosh. I can't believe I'm writing this.

2. My Dad almost died. Literally, almost died. Actually, I think at one point he had flat-lined and he had to be resuscitated, you know, with those electric-magnetic things that jump start your heart. Again, long story short, he developed a bacterial infection in his lungs which caused one of them to collapse which sent him to the ICU although, that's what we know now, the entire time this was happening doctors had no idea what was happening, while the bacteria kept growing in my Dad's lungs for three weeks. Oh yeah, that was the year we got to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital.

Welp. That's pretty much the tragedy of my life. Although it was the hardest time of my life. I truly believe my life took a turn for the better at that point. I still look back on those dark times, and am so grateful for the life-lessons it has taught me. When I thought I fell in love; that was also the first time I had "come-out" to anyone. I learned a lot about God while my Dad was in the hospital, because I prayed a lot. I also learned a lot about empathy and compassion. The outpour of love was tremendous. I still remember. That year, we weren't suppose to have a Christmas, because we had no money (doctor's bills). But Christmas Eve there was a door bell ring, and in our door step were an abundance of gifts, big and small. Those gifts, among monetary donations that appeared in the mail, and gift cards, and checks, and flowers, and meals that were delivered to us by strangers, by neighbors, and by people who just preferred to stay anonymous...are the reason I believe in the goodness of the world.

I learned a lot more, but there simply isn't enough time, and certainly not enough happy tears I can shed for this one post.

Anyways, that was probably the hardest thing(s) I've ever experienced.