Name Five passions you have?
1. Music
2. Work
3. People
4. Learning
5. Love
Perhaps these are a bit ambiguous, but ambiguous is my middle name.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Day 7
What is your dream job and why?
If I only knew computer, if I only knew.
I have wrestled with so many thoughts as to what I want to be when "grow-up". I don't think I've come to a solid conclusion, but it did bring me to an interesting idea. I was talking with my room mate the other night about what we would do if we just inherited 1,000,000,000,000 dollars, and his response was: "I don't think I could stop working. It would just be so foreign to me. I'll always need to work." To which I responded...
CACKLE.
Yes, I laughed at him, and I think I might have also given him a raised eyebrow, crazy-person look. Then, once I gathered my smart alic remarks. I turned to him and said: "No, trust me, once you've worked yourself to the bone, and have so much money and you don't HAVE to work another day in your life. You won't. Think of the things you could do. You could travel the world all your days, participate in philanthropy works, do things you would have never imagined you'd be doing. No, Kiko, you would not work. Anyone in their right mind, wouldn't."
Perhaps that's not exactly what I said, but you get the gist of it, and it made me think about work, and what work ethic has meant to me, and right now, all I'm dedicated to is finding a job I'll enjoy doing for the rest of my days. Something that will pay my student loans, but something that gives me the gratification of being alive. I want to mark the world, at least, in some way. It doesn't have to be huge.
Just something.
That's what I want my dream job to be.
Just something.
:)
If I only knew computer, if I only knew.
I have wrestled with so many thoughts as to what I want to be when "grow-up". I don't think I've come to a solid conclusion, but it did bring me to an interesting idea. I was talking with my room mate the other night about what we would do if we just inherited 1,000,000,000,000 dollars, and his response was: "I don't think I could stop working. It would just be so foreign to me. I'll always need to work." To which I responded...
CACKLE.
Yes, I laughed at him, and I think I might have also given him a raised eyebrow, crazy-person look. Then, once I gathered my smart alic remarks. I turned to him and said: "No, trust me, once you've worked yourself to the bone, and have so much money and you don't HAVE to work another day in your life. You won't. Think of the things you could do. You could travel the world all your days, participate in philanthropy works, do things you would have never imagined you'd be doing. No, Kiko, you would not work. Anyone in their right mind, wouldn't."
Perhaps that's not exactly what I said, but you get the gist of it, and it made me think about work, and what work ethic has meant to me, and right now, all I'm dedicated to is finding a job I'll enjoy doing for the rest of my days. Something that will pay my student loans, but something that gives me the gratification of being alive. I want to mark the world, at least, in some way. It doesn't have to be huge.
Just something.
That's what I want my dream job to be.
Just something.
:)
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Day 6
What's the hardest thing you've experienced?
Ummm...2006?
Can I choose a whole year? Because it sucked, but it's a good kind of suck-age, at least, now I know it's a good kind. Back then I was total mess, and fell apart.
1. I fell in and out of love with my first "boy-friend"...it's a really complicated story, but "cliff notes" version is: I met this boy, he told me he liked me, I believed him, then he told me he "loved" me, I told him I "loved" him back, then he never spoke to me again. It was awesome. Actually, not so much. I remember one near day after the "incident", I crawled under my bed, and cried, for like an hour...no biggie. Oh gosh. I can't believe I'm writing this.
2. My Dad almost died. Literally, almost died. Actually, I think at one point he had flat-lined and he had to be resuscitated, you know, with those electric-magnetic things that jump start your heart. Again, long story short, he developed a bacterial infection in his lungs which caused one of them to collapse which sent him to the ICU although, that's what we know now, the entire time this was happening doctors had no idea what was happening, while the bacteria kept growing in my Dad's lungs for three weeks. Oh yeah, that was the year we got to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital.
Welp. That's pretty much the tragedy of my life. Although it was the hardest time of my life. I truly believe my life took a turn for the better at that point. I still look back on those dark times, and am so grateful for the life-lessons it has taught me. When I thought I fell in love; that was also the first time I had "come-out" to anyone. I learned a lot about God while my Dad was in the hospital, because I prayed a lot. I also learned a lot about empathy and compassion. The outpour of love was tremendous. I still remember. That year, we weren't suppose to have a Christmas, because we had no money (doctor's bills). But Christmas Eve there was a door bell ring, and in our door step were an abundance of gifts, big and small. Those gifts, among monetary donations that appeared in the mail, and gift cards, and checks, and flowers, and meals that were delivered to us by strangers, by neighbors, and by people who just preferred to stay anonymous...are the reason I believe in the goodness of the world.
I learned a lot more, but there simply isn't enough time, and certainly not enough happy tears I can shed for this one post.
Anyways, that was probably the hardest thing(s) I've ever experienced.
Ummm...2006?
Can I choose a whole year? Because it sucked, but it's a good kind of suck-age, at least, now I know it's a good kind. Back then I was total mess, and fell apart.
1. I fell in and out of love with my first "boy-friend"...it's a really complicated story, but "cliff notes" version is: I met this boy, he told me he liked me, I believed him, then he told me he "loved" me, I told him I "loved" him back, then he never spoke to me again. It was awesome. Actually, not so much. I remember one near day after the "incident", I crawled under my bed, and cried, for like an hour...no biggie. Oh gosh. I can't believe I'm writing this.
2. My Dad almost died. Literally, almost died. Actually, I think at one point he had flat-lined and he had to be resuscitated, you know, with those electric-magnetic things that jump start your heart. Again, long story short, he developed a bacterial infection in his lungs which caused one of them to collapse which sent him to the ICU although, that's what we know now, the entire time this was happening doctors had no idea what was happening, while the bacteria kept growing in my Dad's lungs for three weeks. Oh yeah, that was the year we got to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital.
Welp. That's pretty much the tragedy of my life. Although it was the hardest time of my life. I truly believe my life took a turn for the better at that point. I still look back on those dark times, and am so grateful for the life-lessons it has taught me. When I thought I fell in love; that was also the first time I had "come-out" to anyone. I learned a lot about God while my Dad was in the hospital, because I prayed a lot. I also learned a lot about empathy and compassion. The outpour of love was tremendous. I still remember. That year, we weren't suppose to have a Christmas, because we had no money (doctor's bills). But Christmas Eve there was a door bell ring, and in our door step were an abundance of gifts, big and small. Those gifts, among monetary donations that appeared in the mail, and gift cards, and checks, and flowers, and meals that were delivered to us by strangers, by neighbors, and by people who just preferred to stay anonymous...are the reason I believe in the goodness of the world.
I learned a lot more, but there simply isn't enough time, and certainly not enough happy tears I can shed for this one post.
Anyways, that was probably the hardest thing(s) I've ever experienced.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Day 5
Name 5 things that make you happy right now?
Just five...oh dear.
1. My bestest friends: Natasha, Claire, Gabby, Arri, Boyd, Eric, Matthew, Matthew, Laura, Andy, Emily, people at work, people on the street. People. Lots of People. Mom. Dad. Sister. Brother, and many others.
2. Music. Any and all types. Wait, most types. Celine Dion.
3. The anticipation of going to KELLY CLARKSON!
4. The failure I feel constantly.
"If you're not making mistakes; you're not working at full capacity."
5. The confusion I feel...constantly.
Just five...oh dear.
1. My bestest friends: Natasha, Claire, Gabby, Arri, Boyd, Eric, Matthew, Matthew, Laura, Andy, Emily, people at work, people on the street. People. Lots of People. Mom. Dad. Sister. Brother, and many others.
2. Music. Any and all types. Wait, most types. Celine Dion.
3. The anticipation of going to KELLY CLARKSON!
4. The failure I feel constantly.
"If you're not making mistakes; you're not working at full capacity."
5. The confusion I feel...constantly.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Day 4
List 10 things you would tell your 16-year old self...
1.Don't let teachers push you around. They are people just like you. You both deserve respect.
2.Do things you think you can't do.
3.Don't try to be someone your not.
4.Try not to always eat the lunch meat. Your fortunate to have a car and a job. Eat out. It's probably healthier.
5.Sing more.
5.Practice. Practice. Practice.
6.Nothing is as tragic as your peers will make them. Four years and then it's over. NBD.
7.Go to EVERY single dance.
8.Work harder at getting good grades. They make a difference.
9.Look for opportunities, and take advantage of them. Don't let them pass you by.
10.Walk with purpose.
1.Don't let teachers push you around. They are people just like you. You both deserve respect.
2.Do things you think you can't do.
3.Don't try to be someone your not.
4.Try not to always eat the lunch meat. Your fortunate to have a car and a job. Eat out. It's probably healthier.
5.Sing more.
5.Practice. Practice. Practice.
6.Nothing is as tragic as your peers will make them. Four years and then it's over. NBD.
7.Go to EVERY single dance.
8.Work harder at getting good grades. They make a difference.
9.Look for opportunities, and take advantage of them. Don't let them pass you by.
10.Walk with purpose.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Day 3
Describe your relationship with your parents?
Hmm...My parents and I are very close now, and I'm constantly amazed now, at what they sacrificed when I was child, and I'm constantly amazed at what wonderful human beings they are even in their flaws.
My Mother: I hate calling my mother my "best friend," because I feel first and foremost she is my mother, but I do feel like she is at least, some sort of friend figure. She has taught me so many great lessons in life, and although I would never admit this. There have been many-a-times when my mother has given me advice that I just ignored, and it came back and bit me right in the...buttocks. I hate that she's always right, but I'm sure it took her time to get there, and the more I find that she is right...the more I find myself contemplating a little bit more whether to listen to her. My mother is strong, wise, loving, compassionate, and incredible woman.
My Father: I use to hate my father. I won't lie. I hated him. My mother said that we would fight so often when I was a teenager she was contemplating sending us to counseling. My dad and I are alike in many ways, but oh so different in many others. Now that I've "matured" I look back at how much he's accomplished and many things he's done for me, and I can truly, that I love him. He is one of the greatest men in my life, which I never, EVER thought I could write or say, or express in any way. He has been a provider, and a constant beam of support. Now, we're good. We're real good.
Hmm...My parents and I are very close now, and I'm constantly amazed now, at what they sacrificed when I was child, and I'm constantly amazed at what wonderful human beings they are even in their flaws.
My Mother: I hate calling my mother my "best friend," because I feel first and foremost she is my mother, but I do feel like she is at least, some sort of friend figure. She has taught me so many great lessons in life, and although I would never admit this. There have been many-a-times when my mother has given me advice that I just ignored, and it came back and bit me right in the...buttocks. I hate that she's always right, but I'm sure it took her time to get there, and the more I find that she is right...the more I find myself contemplating a little bit more whether to listen to her. My mother is strong, wise, loving, compassionate, and incredible woman.
My Father: I use to hate my father. I won't lie. I hated him. My mother said that we would fight so often when I was a teenager she was contemplating sending us to counseling. My dad and I are alike in many ways, but oh so different in many others. Now that I've "matured" I look back at how much he's accomplished and many things he's done for me, and I can truly, that I love him. He is one of the greatest men in my life, which I never, EVER thought I could write or say, or express in any way. He has been a provider, and a constant beam of support. Now, we're good. We're real good.
Day 2
Name 3 legitimate fears and explain how they became fears?
Ummm now that the question is brought up...I have no idea. I mean I get scared of spiders and snakes. Are those legitimate?
As cheesy as it may sounds...I've always been afraid of being "alone", in any sense: alone, physically and spiritually, without my parents, without a lover, or love interest, without God, or even without strangers. I was deathly afraid of being Alone. Although, I think what I feared the most was the sadness that people con notate with being alone, but the truth is being alone is never as sad as we think it may be. Being alone can be liberating and strengthening. I've found that I have learned most about myself and about, really everything when I am alone.
It's quite the place of solitude and rebirth. Being alone is not tragic. Now, I embrace being alone, even the idea of never finding someone to be my significant other. I have come to a place of understanding and acceptance. That loneliness is not horrendous. In many ways it's beautiful. No matter how lonely you may be, because the truth is...you're never really alone, ever.
Ummm now that the question is brought up...I have no idea. I mean I get scared of spiders and snakes. Are those legitimate?
As cheesy as it may sounds...I've always been afraid of being "alone", in any sense: alone, physically and spiritually, without my parents, without a lover, or love interest, without God, or even without strangers. I was deathly afraid of being Alone. Although, I think what I feared the most was the sadness that people con notate with being alone, but the truth is being alone is never as sad as we think it may be. Being alone can be liberating and strengthening. I've found that I have learned most about myself and about, really everything when I am alone.
It's quite the place of solitude and rebirth. Being alone is not tragic. Now, I embrace being alone, even the idea of never finding someone to be my significant other. I have come to a place of understanding and acceptance. That loneliness is not horrendous. In many ways it's beautiful. No matter how lonely you may be, because the truth is...you're never really alone, ever.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Day One...It's not what you think.
So, I was perusing through Pinterest. You know, the latest fad, and found this list of thirty questions. So every day this month. I'll answer these questions. Why am I doing it? I have no idea, and part of me is a little frightened at how vulnerable I'm making myself. I'm going to be as honest as I can with each of these questions, as I can.
It'll be a process, because I'm not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I hope it also sparks a conversation for people to start looking at this list (and themselves) a little bit more, and realize that no matter how much we put ourselves out on that ledge...if we fall, there will always be someone at the bottom, waiting to catch us, because they know exactly what we're going through.
Cheesy. I know, but roll with it.
Number One: 20 Random Facts.
1. I once stuck Cheerios so far up my nose, my parents had to pick them out with tweezers.
2. When my sister was born; I went back to diapers.
3. I've never dated a Jewish man.
4. Today when I saw a man wearing a yamaka...I imagined what our first date would be like... including our date conversation. (if you want to know how it went, just ask, I'm a little ridiculous):)
5. Instead of illustrating my emotions through actions...I sing. Loud.
6. I know everyone is secretly jealous of me.
7. Sometimes I tell little white lies^^just because I think they're funny. Usually it's lined with a whole lot of sarcasm.
8. I consider myself witty, but I would never admit that (oops).
9. If Plans A, B, C, or D don't work out. E and F are (1) Become a pilot (2) Become a NASCAR driver.
10. I still want to be on Broadway.
11. I don't have secrets...except for one, and the only person who will know it...is my husband.
12. I have personal conversations with myself in the car to; and from work.
13. I read a lot of memoirs.
14. I find drag queens very entertaining.
15. I'm planning on becoming a YouTube sensation. I'm just waiting for the perfect moment.
16. 6 Men.
17. I really don't want to be 20 anymore.
18. When I get really excited about something I don't really talk about it, but when I'm not really excited about something, I talk about it ALL the time.
19. In my head I'm constantly writing a novel about my life.
20. Until I was about 12. I was going to be a mixture of Celine Dion, Kelly Clarkson, and Cinderella in one. That was my life goal. Needless to say, my priorities have changed. Now I just want to be Beyonce.
THE LIST:
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
It'll be a process, because I'm not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I hope it also sparks a conversation for people to start looking at this list (and themselves) a little bit more, and realize that no matter how much we put ourselves out on that ledge...if we fall, there will always be someone at the bottom, waiting to catch us, because they know exactly what we're going through.
Cheesy. I know, but roll with it.
Number One: 20 Random Facts.
1. I once stuck Cheerios so far up my nose, my parents had to pick them out with tweezers.
2. When my sister was born; I went back to diapers.
3. I've never dated a Jewish man.
4. Today when I saw a man wearing a yamaka...I imagined what our first date would be like... including our date conversation. (if you want to know how it went, just ask, I'm a little ridiculous):)
5. Instead of illustrating my emotions through actions...I sing. Loud.
6. I know everyone is secretly jealous of me.
7. Sometimes I tell little white lies^^just because I think they're funny. Usually it's lined with a whole lot of sarcasm.
8. I consider myself witty, but I would never admit that (oops).
9. If Plans A, B, C, or D don't work out. E and F are (1) Become a pilot (2) Become a NASCAR driver.
10. I still want to be on Broadway.
11. I don't have secrets...except for one, and the only person who will know it...is my husband.
12. I have personal conversations with myself in the car to; and from work.
13. I read a lot of memoirs.
14. I find drag queens very entertaining.
15. I'm planning on becoming a YouTube sensation. I'm just waiting for the perfect moment.
16. 6 Men.
17. I really don't want to be 20 anymore.
18. When I get really excited about something I don't really talk about it, but when I'm not really excited about something, I talk about it ALL the time.
19. In my head I'm constantly writing a novel about my life.
20. Until I was about 12. I was going to be a mixture of Celine Dion, Kelly Clarkson, and Cinderella in one. That was my life goal. Needless to say, my priorities have changed. Now I just want to be Beyonce.
THE LIST:
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
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