Hello, My Name is Nathan

When you find that those who were once your greatest ally have become your greatest foe. That burden of hatred to which you begin to carry, seems to be the heaviest load of all. It's heavy on your shoulders, and bad for your back, but more than that. This burden is heavy on your heart. Then, there comes a point in time when you release yourself of the hate, and begin to understand that your life is changing.

You are changing.

Change is somewhat of a fearful exercise to which we all become familiar with in our life. Now, our tolerance for such activity comes to us by our own version of events and our approach to them. Change for me has meant stress-levels shooting through the roof. Change has meant learning to deal with struggle and triumph. Change has meant learning to let go of what "once was" and learning to create something that will "soon be".

I am the director of my own life.

I can only prevail if I allow myself to prevail. I can only succeed if I believe success is within my grips. It also means learning that strength will never come from the times in which I succeed, but from the multitudes of times in which I fall, and tell myself to get back up.

I must always get back up.

So, although my greatest foe is no longer my enemy. Although what I have been through is no longer about what we once were, but what I now know for sure. We will never be what we once were, because that person I once was no longer exists, and that space. The space within my soul to which you had acquired and monopolized, is no longer vacant.

Maybe we can start again? Maybe we can get to a point where we at least know each other's names, and eye color... here, in attempt to start, not in reconciliation, but in a general consent towards taking baby steps in a new direction:

"Hello. My name is Nathan...it's nice to meet you."