Shame

"Shame"
By: Nathan Rust

Remnants of last night.
Are etched in stains on the photo frame
of my computer screen.
It screams at me.
Shame.
Shame on you.
The delight you reap.
Shameful.
It is not
in the sin I find remorse.
It is in the lie.

Painted lines outline
the contour
of every muscle
that twitched
at your touch.
Every stroke
with that brush
paints my lips with
the words
you utter,
as you reach
that peak
at the point of the mountain--
which we climb.

I delight
in my happiness
of a stranger's pain.
Unknown to me
makes it bearable.
Okay.
I say.
Never leave.
Kiss me.

Please.

He begs. To let me
let him,
stay in my bed.
Like a vagabond
he begs on his feet
knowing I'll
oblige to his needs.
Indulge with me.
He say.
Indulge with me.

Shame.

When I let him stay
he slips from under my
naked fingers
to runaway
and lie with--
the other.
My brother
who is unaware
I've betrayed every prayer
he offered in my name.

Dirty glass seems clean
due to rain--
and the tears which
wash them.
Peace, seems a far
distant deserted land
to which I can't reach
for I am
parched
and thirsty
for him.

Again.

Then--
I drink
finding nothing but

Empty.